Dear Pop-Pop,
It feels like forever since I last saw you but at the same time I can think back to it like it was yesterday. I can distinctly remember that last hug I gave you in the kitchen right before I left to go back to school. I will never forget how your hugs felt. You were always such a strong but gentle person and that is the thing I loved the most about you.
Today is your birthday… it’s your first birthday in heaven. I wasn’t sure I wanted to write this down but I think it’s something I’ve been needing to do for a long time. I rarely talk about what happened in February. About how alone I felt at school and away from the family. I rarely talk about the fact that I still think of you every single day even if it’s just in those fleeting moments right before I close my eyes to go to sleep.
Quite a few things have happened since your last birthday. Most of them haven’t been great things. But day in and day out, I try to remember what’s important. I try to remember to make you proud. I hope I’ve been doing a good job so far.
It’s amazing how much people treasure the ordinary memories after someone is gone. I keep thinking back to last Thanksgiving and knowing that’s the last time I’ll get to watch you carve the turkey or make fun of you for mixing all your food together on your plate. I think back to last Christmas when I showed you how to download apps on your iPhone so you could look at the constellations at night while you were at work. I think back to that time we stood in the sewing room you, me, and mom and you talked to me about Mom-mom. I remember thinking that I had to ask you to tell me more stories. I never got a chance to.
Losing you has taught me a lot about life. At first, all I could think about was how unfair it was to lose you so unexpectedly. You were fine. There had to have been a mistake. Everything was fine. Now that the initial pain is gone, I can (sort of) appreciate the fact that losing you unexpectedly taught me how to live life to the fullest and never forget to tell the people you love just how much you love them.
I would honestly do anything to be able to hear you laugh again or to hear just one more story. Whenever I come to Nana’s I half expect to see your keys, phone, and Skoal container in their place by the door. Losing you has been tough on all of us and we really miss you.
I’m not sure I can look on the bright side today because this is the first November 11th we will endure without you. But I just wanted you to know that even though I miss you every day, it’s getting easier. You were the best Pop-Pop I could have ever asked for and I will treasure everything you have given me for the rest of my life. I hope today you will smile down on all of us. I’ll be eating some Reese’s cups in your honor.
Happy birthday, Pop-Pop.
Love,
Your granddaughter
This is so beautiful, happy birthday ♡
Thank you!
This is so sweet! Happy birthday to your Pop Pop! I am sure he is having a huge party in heaven right now.
Mikayla | A Seersucker State of Mind.
Thanks Mikayla!
Aww so sweet 🙂
Death is definitely difficult but I am glad you’re choosing to cope with it in a positive way and remembering your grandpa instead of blocking everything out.
Happy birthday to your pop-pop!
http://www.breakfastatlillys.com
So so sweet! It’s a blessing you had such a wonderful person in your life <3
This made me think of my own grandfather – he passed away a few years ago. I agree with what you said about treasuring ordinary memories after somebody passes away – I remember my grandfather’s cooking the most.
Alessandra | The PumpUp Blog
Such a sweet letter. Love this
http://www.kayleighskloset.com
Kayla, this was a very sweet post and I’m very glad for you that you decided to share it. I have no doubt that he’s smiling down at you from the lovely place he’s in. Stay strong and keep smiling 🙂
Such a sweet, sweet letter. This is one of my favorite parts about blogging, being able to get it all out and sharing it with people who will support and understand. Keep your chin up, pretty girl. I’m more than positive that he would be super proud of you. xx Merisa | Monogrammed Magnolias.
What a sweet letter! I’m so glad you decided to share it on your blog.
I honestly teared up reading your letter, I know how it feels to lose a grandparent unexpectedly and this letter resurfaced some of those feelings for me. This is a beautiful letter and I’m happy you shared it.
This is beautiful. I cried reading this thinking of my grandfather, who I lost a few years ago. It’s hard but you are strong and I am sure he is smiling down at you from heaven. <3
xo
Lauren
http://www.thefashionistasdiary.com
What a beautiful post. This brought tears to my eyes as it reminded me of my own Papa who we lost back in 2012. Such a touching letter to him! Losing someone you love so incredibly much is never easy, and unfortunately the pain of their absence will be with us for our lifetime, BUT the wonderful memories help to ease the hurt. I am sure he is smiling down at you from above! Sending lots of love your way, sweet girl!
xo Ashley
What a sweet picture and heartfelt blog post!! <3
xoxo A
http://www.southernbelleintraining.com
I lost both of my grandpas when I was little. I wish I had one more day with them and to tell them that I appreciate all of their wisdom I managed to soak up!
I’m Bawling. This was a beautiful letter to your darling grandpa. Makes me miss mine so very much. Thank you for sharing.
Nicole // Chronicling Home
What a sweet, heartfelt letter. Thanks for sharing.
Cat
http://classmeetscouture.com
This is so sweet. I love hearing stories behind the blogger
-Morgan
How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com
I lost my grandfather just over a year ago, also in February! It’s definitely hard at times, and you’ll always miss him but it does get easier. Plus, he’s always watching over you!
with southern grace,
lindsey
http://www.withsoutherngrace.blogspot.com
Aw I’m so sorry for your loss! I’m sure your Pop-Pop is very proud of you!
xx. Brittany | Southern Soul
I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful reflection.
What a beautiful post. I absolutely adore the photo of you and your Pop-Pop! You can just see the joy radiating from y’all’s faces.
XO, SS || Seersucker Sass
Such a sweet letter! I lost my favorite grandpa when I was much younger but I’ve never forgot his hugs!
I am so sorry for your loss. Know that your Pop Pop is SO proud of you and he has so many great memories with you to cherish and hold on to, just like you do! <3
http://thealwaysblog.com
Beautiful letter! I lost my grandmother a few years ago and I know they’re both watching over us!
This was so heart-felt: I can picture your grandfather without ever having known him. Very beautifully written.
It resonated when you mentioned missing the small details, like him mixing the food together on his plate. My aunt passed years ago and I still miss how she always made cider for the holidays; I still smell her perfume sometimes or swear I hear her laugh. It’s these details that fit into the bigger story of who our loved ones were and will forever be in our hearts.
xo Ximena (he-Mena)